Tuesday, May 28, 2013

Holiday Boost For Caregivers

By John Adams


Two days following Christmas in 1947, the Saturday Evening Post made feature of a cover of iconic painter Norman Rockwell's "Tired Salesgirl on Christmas Eve." In Rockwell's well known painting, a fatigued looking sales clerk slumps against a wall with her shoes kicked off during a vast array of disheveled dolls and wrapping paper. While we may find this slightly amusing in relating to Rockwell's whimsical depiction of one careworn holiday worker, there are a large number of Americans feel completely warn out during the holiday period without wrapping a gift or partying through out the season.

These so called done-in citizens are the family members who care for an ill spouse, aging parents, another relative or close family friend on a regular basis, usually every day of the year without a break. By December, lots of home caregivers feel warn out and quite overwhelmed relating to daily duties that the thought of other families enjoying the holidays only conjures up miserable feelings such as resentment and depression. Instead of the last weeks of the year being filled with fond memory-making, a vast number of family in-home care providers battle with feelings of "Bah! Humbug!" from being over burdened and alone from the rest of the world that appears to be celebrating the holiday season.

"The holidays are particularly challenging for family caregivers because they often feel torn between being there fully for their loved one and wanting to be free to enjoy festivities with family and friends," said Dan Fox, President Right At Home - Palm Springs and Desert Cities. However, there are some possible options for caregivers which enables them to engage in both and deter any unnecessary stress and negativity during the holiday season. When our professional staff helps a family in relation to adult home care, we witness how vital it is for family caregivers not feel alone or isolated while it seems the entire community celebrates the special season. Fox highlights the following ways family caregivers can greatly reduce their load from now right through to New Year's:

Time to change your expectations. Unmet expectations during the busy holidays often causes hopelessness and anger. Instead of setting the standards far too high for caregiving and decorating the house, sending cards, buying gifts, baking goodies, etc., simply reduce the demands to enable you to feel less stressed during the holiday season.

Be mindful of feelings. Family caregivers deal with a whole array of emotions such as frustration with lack of assistance to fear over a future which can not be predicted. It is quite depressing that the loved one can no longer reside in their own home alone anymore or attend social events during the holiday season, so caregivers need to set aside time to listen to and work to these particular concerns.

There is no need to always be perfect. Should your Christmas lights not quite line up it's not bad to feel good about it. If you are only able to spend a minimal amount of time cooking something which everyone enjoys, don't stress about it. Even if your Christmas cards arrive slightly late, that's fine, it's the thought that counts. When you are in the position of caring for someone, people will understand you can't always get everything exactly right with so many other concerns.

There should be no "shoulds" in the holiday celebrations. Do what makes you happy. Don't tell yourself you should do anything that does not bring joy or that is not true to your feelings.

Consider "good enough." If the tree lights appear to be uneven this year, just tell yourself that this is simply not good enough as you deserve a better outcome. If you have restricted time which only allows you to bake one round of cookies, it's good enough. If the only option is to send out your holiday cards after January 1, it's good enough. In relation to family caregivers already stretched to the limit, perfect isn't always considered a smart choice.

Time to let go. Family caregivers can waste a huge amount of emotional energy wishing circumstances were vastly different for their loved one. A key element to deriving enjoyment from the holidays is to stop trying to make changes. Make a promise to end the year letting go of negative attitudes, relationship tensions and previous mistakes that can adversely interfere with the best care for your beloved aged or ill relative.

Make future plans and do not be afraid to seek assistance. Simplify priorities. Consider asking other family members to help with shifts and engage with professional caregivers such as Right at Home to step in with numerous services revolving around respite care, transport, daily meals and housekeeping chores..

Surviving the Christmas rush, the cross-eyed sales clerk interpreted in Norman Rockwell's holiday picture, added a lot of heart. The family member and another person, as the caregiver, was not meant to be run to exhaustion whom are the ones that spent so much for their loved ones.




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