A premature ending to lovemaking because of the man's lack of staying power can be very disappointing to a woman. Little wonder that one of the most popular searches on the web is for tips to control male arousal! A premature ending to lovemaking can deprive the woman of the sense of bonding which she gets from giving herself to her partner. She may feel that her lover either does not love her or that he is indifferent to her needs. And a man who reaches climax too soon often feels like he is unmasculine.
This is not helpful for the relationship, particularly when the issue is never honestly discussed. However, the shame resulting from sexual issues like this is huge, and the relationship partners often struggle on with this important problem unresolved. If you recognize this, you may ask, can you change anything? The reassuring news is - you have the power to resolve this!
First of all, you need to talk about it from your heart: this means you tell your partner your emotions. However, the fact is our research demonstrates as few as 10% of couples find it easy to talk about sexual problems. So, to help you be honest about your sex life, try these tricks to guide you:
1) Talk about your feelings - please don't try the tactic of avoiding responsibility by blaming your spouse. Being able to listen without blaming means you probably will engender much less stress - and your partner is probably going to be a lot more able to hear what you say without putting you down.
2) Don't project your feelings - being able to accept that you are both responsible for any emotional distress in the relationship is necessary to eliminating stress between you. Only when you are able to know that your lover's emotions are an honest reaction to the issues you face, and that they are entitled to feel that way, can you start to see each other as you really are.
3) Don't give way to self-criticism. Making changes is more constructive. This may require getting the help of a counselor. Or it may mean strategies as simple as booking time each day to speak to your partner about what is "up" for you.
4) If you have challenges discussing sexual problems consider anything you want to "bring to the table" before you start. Knowing your position is crucial in finding the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know what you will accept in any debate about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to achieve your goals.
5) Be clear about what you are saying. It's often hard to work out what's causing the things we feel, and it's likely you may only fully realize the real issue as you discuss the problem. And, if you are certain what you would like to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more truly you talk about what's going on for you, the more "together" you will feel in your relationship.
Next, work as a couple on a practical self-help solution for treating male sexual dysfunction. There are a lot to choose from on the internet and a rapid search is often enough to discover one that works for you and your partner. The essential features you should to look for are: proven references, a full money-back guarantee, and an author who is willing to engage with you by email. I have shown in more than twelve years' working men with sexual dysfunction that self-help treatment programs work just as well as office-based counseling for most men, provided they are highly eager to up their sexual game.
This is not helpful for the relationship, particularly when the issue is never honestly discussed. However, the shame resulting from sexual issues like this is huge, and the relationship partners often struggle on with this important problem unresolved. If you recognize this, you may ask, can you change anything? The reassuring news is - you have the power to resolve this!
First of all, you need to talk about it from your heart: this means you tell your partner your emotions. However, the fact is our research demonstrates as few as 10% of couples find it easy to talk about sexual problems. So, to help you be honest about your sex life, try these tricks to guide you:
1) Talk about your feelings - please don't try the tactic of avoiding responsibility by blaming your spouse. Being able to listen without blaming means you probably will engender much less stress - and your partner is probably going to be a lot more able to hear what you say without putting you down.
2) Don't project your feelings - being able to accept that you are both responsible for any emotional distress in the relationship is necessary to eliminating stress between you. Only when you are able to know that your lover's emotions are an honest reaction to the issues you face, and that they are entitled to feel that way, can you start to see each other as you really are.
3) Don't give way to self-criticism. Making changes is more constructive. This may require getting the help of a counselor. Or it may mean strategies as simple as booking time each day to speak to your partner about what is "up" for you.
4) If you have challenges discussing sexual problems consider anything you want to "bring to the table" before you start. Knowing your position is crucial in finding the respect of your partner. It's also helpful to know what you will accept in any debate about sex. That way you will be very much more likely to achieve your goals.
5) Be clear about what you are saying. It's often hard to work out what's causing the things we feel, and it's likely you may only fully realize the real issue as you discuss the problem. And, if you are certain what you would like to change, you are much more likely to get it. The more honestly you show yourself, the more truly you talk about what's going on for you, the more "together" you will feel in your relationship.
Next, work as a couple on a practical self-help solution for treating male sexual dysfunction. There are a lot to choose from on the internet and a rapid search is often enough to discover one that works for you and your partner. The essential features you should to look for are: proven references, a full money-back guarantee, and an author who is willing to engage with you by email. I have shown in more than twelve years' working men with sexual dysfunction that self-help treatment programs work just as well as office-based counseling for most men, provided they are highly eager to up their sexual game.
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