First of all, we've been pre-programmed not to take networking seriously. Messages like "don't talk to strangers" and "people don't want to be bothered" are good ideas to a degree. As for fearing the idea of speaking to strangers, you are not four-years-old, so get over it. A number of your best contacts is going to be complete strangers. As for bothering people, most people do not mind being bothered if what you've got to say or offer them is worth their time. However, most people don't want you wasting their time, which is understandable because you do not want to waste your time.
The second part of this pre-programming occurred after middle school. Ever since we entered high school, our parents, teachers, advisors, and society have taught us that a college degree a job = success. That is a lie! Both of us have degrees, but if we had to choose between degrees and contacts, we'd choose contacts each time. Degrees have indeed given us some credibility, but they have not guaranteed us success. The second reason why most professionals don't commit to networking for career success is because of fear. That fear can come in various forms: fear of meeting strangers, fear of rejection, or even a fear of rude people. All of these fears are natural; they are at the core of our human nature. Don't beat yourself up over them. However, you still have to deal with these fears if you would like to take charge of your career.
The very best way to deal with your fear of networking is to face it head on in small, consistent baby steps. We'll help you at the end of this chapter by suggesting some simple, but powerful, "Networking Action Steps" that is going to help you build momentum. The third reason why most professionals don't make networking a priority is because they have never been taught the "right way" to network.
Most of us were taught the following misconceptions regarding networking:
1. Networking is about getting people to help you.
2. Networking is about attending numerous social functions.
3. Networking is all about selling something to somebody.
4. Networking is all about the number of people you meet.
All of these misconceptions with regards to networking might have been the norm in the past, but they're abnormally ridiculous now. As we continue through the remaining six secrets for building successful contacts, you are going to gain a new understanding and appreciation for the art of networking. Before we leave this first secret, let us share one more reason why you need to make networking a priority. It's called the "Rule of Six." We said earlier "who knows you" is more important than "who you know." However, add one more caveat to that fact, "Who knows you is multiplied exponentially by the number of people they know."
The Rule of Six: You might have heard the philosophy of the "Six Degrees of Separation," which asserts that you could reach anybody in the world within six contacts. This argument is true because it's not your contacts; it's also your contacts' contacts. According to Joe Girard, author of How to Sell Anything to Anybody and proclaimed "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by The Guinness Book of World Records, the average person knows around 250 people (or more). That also means that each of our contacts knows 250 people, and their contacts know at least 250, and so on and so on. That's why you can't just network with "the right people," because in actuality, anybody could be the right person; you just need to be willing to tap into their circle of influence. It's a powerful concept if you think about it.
Here is a quick example. Let us say you wanted to meet Oprah Winfrey. The majority of us (including your authors) don't know Oprah on a personal level, and she doesn't know us. However, since you're reading this article, you do know us. If you write, call, or e-mail us, we will know you. If you contacted Joe, and it was necessary, he could introduce you to a friend of his name George Fraser (an author and entrepreneur you've probably never heard of).
Now follow us here, Joe does not know Oprah, and neither does George, personally (or at least not as close as he probably would like to). You do know Joe, and he does know George. George knows a man by the name of Stedman Graham. If that name does not ring a bell, Stedman is Oprah's significant partner. In a sense, right now, you are only three contacts away from meeting Oprah. However, your connection with these three contacts will only be as strong as their relationship with each other. Meaning, that if you wanted to open this network line, you must first create a relationship with Joe, and he must in turn strengthen and maintain his relationship with George; George must build his relationship with Stedman, and Stedman must continue to have a positive relationship with Oprah. It all starts by making networking a priority.
The second part of this pre-programming occurred after middle school. Ever since we entered high school, our parents, teachers, advisors, and society have taught us that a college degree a job = success. That is a lie! Both of us have degrees, but if we had to choose between degrees and contacts, we'd choose contacts each time. Degrees have indeed given us some credibility, but they have not guaranteed us success. The second reason why most professionals don't commit to networking for career success is because of fear. That fear can come in various forms: fear of meeting strangers, fear of rejection, or even a fear of rude people. All of these fears are natural; they are at the core of our human nature. Don't beat yourself up over them. However, you still have to deal with these fears if you would like to take charge of your career.
The very best way to deal with your fear of networking is to face it head on in small, consistent baby steps. We'll help you at the end of this chapter by suggesting some simple, but powerful, "Networking Action Steps" that is going to help you build momentum. The third reason why most professionals don't make networking a priority is because they have never been taught the "right way" to network.
Most of us were taught the following misconceptions regarding networking:
1. Networking is about getting people to help you.
2. Networking is about attending numerous social functions.
3. Networking is all about selling something to somebody.
4. Networking is all about the number of people you meet.
All of these misconceptions with regards to networking might have been the norm in the past, but they're abnormally ridiculous now. As we continue through the remaining six secrets for building successful contacts, you are going to gain a new understanding and appreciation for the art of networking. Before we leave this first secret, let us share one more reason why you need to make networking a priority. It's called the "Rule of Six." We said earlier "who knows you" is more important than "who you know." However, add one more caveat to that fact, "Who knows you is multiplied exponentially by the number of people they know."
The Rule of Six: You might have heard the philosophy of the "Six Degrees of Separation," which asserts that you could reach anybody in the world within six contacts. This argument is true because it's not your contacts; it's also your contacts' contacts. According to Joe Girard, author of How to Sell Anything to Anybody and proclaimed "The Greatest Salesman in the World" by The Guinness Book of World Records, the average person knows around 250 people (or more). That also means that each of our contacts knows 250 people, and their contacts know at least 250, and so on and so on. That's why you can't just network with "the right people," because in actuality, anybody could be the right person; you just need to be willing to tap into their circle of influence. It's a powerful concept if you think about it.
Here is a quick example. Let us say you wanted to meet Oprah Winfrey. The majority of us (including your authors) don't know Oprah on a personal level, and she doesn't know us. However, since you're reading this article, you do know us. If you write, call, or e-mail us, we will know you. If you contacted Joe, and it was necessary, he could introduce you to a friend of his name George Fraser (an author and entrepreneur you've probably never heard of).
Now follow us here, Joe does not know Oprah, and neither does George, personally (or at least not as close as he probably would like to). You do know Joe, and he does know George. George knows a man by the name of Stedman Graham. If that name does not ring a bell, Stedman is Oprah's significant partner. In a sense, right now, you are only three contacts away from meeting Oprah. However, your connection with these three contacts will only be as strong as their relationship with each other. Meaning, that if you wanted to open this network line, you must first create a relationship with Joe, and he must in turn strengthen and maintain his relationship with George; George must build his relationship with Stedman, and Stedman must continue to have a positive relationship with Oprah. It all starts by making networking a priority.
About the Author:
James Malinchak, Presented on ABC's Hit Television Show Secret Millionaire, is recognized as by a lot of specialists as the World's #1 Big Money Speaker Coach and Trainer. For Absolutely free Video Trainings concerning how to get paid to speak and how to turn into a motivational speaker, try read here and learn more.
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